Strictly Come Dancing: week five results – live | Strictly Come Dancing

Up in the Clauditorium with the happy couples who are through to Halloween fright night, Pete Wicks reveals that he’ll playing the Batman villain for Halloween.

Shayne Ward is so relieved to get 40th birthday present of being saved, he and Nancy Xu do an impromptu spots of Oleta Adams karaoke. Two yeses from me.

A shocker to rival last week’s. JB Gill and Amy Dowden are consigned to the dance-off for the first time. Gasps of shock in the ballroom and on sofas.

Also safely through to next Saturday are Shayne Ward (no double dance-off), Pete Wicks and Wynne Evans.

Hold tight. The spotlight of doom is about to do its worst.

Our couples await their fates in the ballroom. At least half of them must be girding their loins for a potential dance-off, especially the three Ps (Paul, Pete and Punam).

A rewind of Saturday night’s action on-screen now. Team MoJo’s Afro-Caribbean celebration! Jamie Borthwick’s terrific traditional paso! Chris McCausland’s emotional Liverpudlian waltz! A slight dip from early pace-setter Tasha Ghouri! A too-early paddle-raise from Shirley! Brendan Cole and Ian Beale in the studio audience! But sadly not together! Shame.

Here’s our presenting pair, so time for our traditional sartorial smackdown. Tess Daly is in a white sparkly tuxedo suit. Claudia Winkleman is in a red frock.

Claud wins, making it another clean sweep for La Winkle this weekend.

Roll clap-along credits. Which of these smiling couples will soon be weeping into their sparkly hankies?

Tonight’s musical guest is another Strictly alumna: kitchen disco queen Sophie Ellis-Bextor. She’s performing her new single rather than “that” viral hit from Saltburn. So fear not, you don’t have to to throw shapes to it naked or do unsavoury things with bathwater. Phew, frankly.

A mere five minutes until the glittery curtain comes up…